On the weekend of October 11th-13th was the O-eshiki Buddhist Festival. The festival commemorates the anniversary of the death of Nichiren Shonin, a Buddhist monk who is credited as founder of the Nichiren Sect, which teaches the chanting of Namu Myho Renge Kyo as an essential practice. In his later years, Nichiren traveled trying to reach the hot springs to find a cure for his illness but passed away at Ikegami. He founded Honmonji Temple just before his death. So every year at Honmonji Temple is a big celebration in his honor. We attended the the second night of the festival. It’s beautiful to see the parade of beautifully lit-up mando followed by a lively procession of followers beating drums, playing flutes and chanting as they make their way to Honmonji.
By the River
When I used to watch Japanese TV dramas that Yuki would rent back in NY, the dramas often had scenes of uniform-clad school kids walking home from school along a path that looked like it was on top of a long, grassy hill. Now I see where they were walking. In every town in Tokyo a river is always nearby. Along the top of these river banks, or dote どて (for example Arakawa dote 荒川土手 means Arakwaa River banks) is a paved path for joggers, cyclists, or people going for a stroll. You could literally follow the path and go to every town that the river connects. The kids love to go walking along the river. You could kill lots of time there since also along the banks are playgrounds and grassy fields where you’ll find many people practicing sports, flying kites, skating, having picnics or fishing. Time always seem to go by more slowly along these peaceful river banks.

Ponyo, the Fish Child
If you live in Japan, you must’ve heard the Ponyo theme song at least once. Ponyo on the Cliff by the Sea is the latest Studio Ghibli animated film (creators of Totoro, Princess Mononoke and others). Keiji and Arisa were singing it one day and I had no idea what it was, but next thing I knew I heard little kids singing this song everywhere I went, even before the film release. I found myself humming it against my will. If you feel so inclined to keep up with the little kids in Japan, check out this little video with the lyrics written in romaji so you can sing along!
Today’s Lunch…
is something I no longer need to really think about, except on the weekends. Fortunately, hoikuen provides lunch and snacks for the kids. Normally I’d be worried about what school lunches are, but I am amazed at Japanese school lunches. I don’t know what is served in Elementary schools here, but New York City school cafeteria lunches meant reheated frozen hamburgers or boxed macaroni and cheese, hash browns or soggy French fries and canned fruit cocktail for dessert or basically anything that can be made by adding water or popping in the microwave. They were not exactly nutritious, but supposedly they contained all the food groups. In the kids’ hoikuen, there are cooks who prepare well-balanced and lightly seasoned meals each day from scratch. Windows to the kitchen allow you to see them in their preparations. Some of the lunchtime menus have been: Omelet with potatoes and ham with corn soup and bread, tofu vegetable balls and sauteed asparagus and carrots, udon soup with wakame and daikon (seaweed and white radish) or chicken nuggets with sauteed hijiki (a type of seaweed) and vegetables. Dessert is normally fruit – pineapple or grapes, etc. Snacks are usually either rice crackers, onigiri with wakame (rice ball with a type of seaweed), wheat crackers, yogurt or dango (sweet sticky rice). For drinks they only serve either whole milk or mugi cha (barley tea), never any juice. They even have a little glass box at the entrance that displays the foods served that day so parents can see what the lunch and snack of the day was (although the past few days there hasn’t been). I’m curious to know what kind of lunches are served in different parts of the world…
Hi, my name is…..Keiji-Arisa Mama
This is how I am known at the kids’ school. After chatting with someone a few times, I naturally feel I should introduce myself by giving my first name, then ask the same of the person I’m speaking to. I did it the first couple of times I talked to mothers. And I soon realized that none of the mothers in school address each other by first names. Mothers and kids alike address the mothers as (child’s name) Mama. Mothers even sometimes look rather uncomfortable to say your first name. But my last name is definitely known since it is written on everything that belongs to my kids. This is pretty new for me – always going by the family name. I suppose people here are just more used to keeping things formal. It dawned on me that back home I can be friends with someone and not know their last name until weeks or months later. Here in Japan, everyone knows you by your family name and your first name doesn’t seem too relevant among acquaintances. If I am not addressed by my last name, a person might call me Oka-san (the honorific word for mother) or Oku-san (the honorific word for wife). And so you can just call me Keiji-Arisa Mama.
The Working Mothers
Since the kids have entered nursery school, I have many opportunities to chat with other working moms. Although there is still a bit of a language barrier, for the most part I can get by at least with basic small talk. There is something different about the Japanese mothers here (by here, I guess I mean Tokyo). Our neighborhood is predominantly blue collar working-class. The difference with this blue collar neighborhood is that most people actually work for their own company (mostly their own small factory making specialty parts for all sorts of larger machinery and equipment) and live in a house above the factory or next door. While walking around one day, it dawned on me that despite most people’s modest appearance, their large plots of land, on which sits their house and business, probably can indicate their true economic status. Most of the families here have 3 generations living together comfortably and sons and daughters work on the family business together, while the grandmothers help raise their young grandchildren. I still see men in their 70′s working everyday in their factories. Their home, with children and grandchildren still living under their roof, shows that their hard work has paid off. It’s quite refreshing to see close-knit families, especially since in Tokyo I’ve mostly seen magazine-image city-dwelling families who just want to do everything on their own and keep the extended family on a meet-only-when-necessary basis.
So going back to the mothers…maybe it’s because I can’t really see what goes on in family’s daily lives, but in almost everyone here I see this seemingly unfaltering self-discipline. The working moms ride their bicycles, sometimes with as many as 3 kids on it (one in a front child seat, one in a rear child seat, and one baby strapped on their backs in a carrier). They drop them off at school by 9:15 am the latest, do all the necessary preparations, then head to work. Many of them return to school by 5:30 pm to pick up their child or children. But their day is not yet done. Once they leave school (often about 30 minutes later, since children rarely leave the premises so easily-still wanting to play and chat with their friends), they still buy groceries and prepare dinner, feed the kids, get them bathed and dressed for bed and then whatever other chores need attending to. I sometimes see one or two fathers pick up the kids, but generally it is the mothers who come mornings and evenings. And when I talk to mothers they always nonchalantly say their husbands usually leave so early (6-7am) and come home so late (10-11pm) . Everyone appears to accept their roles and carry on. I learned a lot just by observing the mothers, even if I may not know the whole picture. I complained about this and that when I arrived, but now I sometimes think I’ve had it slightly easier in comparison. In our household, the Daddy takes part in the household chores and caring for the kids, despite a physically tiring job. Also, my work hours are not terribly demanding so I do have a little extra time to look after the place. I still don’t (and will never) agree with fathers who think earning money is the only thing they are responsible for when it comes to their family. I can only imagine what their daily lives are like, by comparing it to my own. Of course everyone’s situation differs a bit, but I know the moms have one major thing in common – they do a hell of lot in a day. I do give these mothers lots of props for having the strength and patience to raise their kids, run a home, have a job and still look after themselves.
Hoikuen 保育園, Tokyo’s Public Nursery School
Last year, in reference to preschools, I kept hearing the words yochien and hoikuen thrown around amongst mothers. I had no idea what they were talking about and I wasn’t really looking forward to the whole application process, figuring it’d just be a headache with all the Japanese paperwork involved. Yochien is private nursery school (there used to be public ones, but not anymore) . Hoikuen is government supported nursery school, exclusively for children between the ages 3 months – 5 years whose parents are both working, or for some reason are unable to take care of them. So in order for children to be admitted you have to show some need for them to enter – a single mother or father, both parents need to work, a parent is unable to take care of the child because of a disability. We thought there’d be no way our kids would get in. There are long waiting lists and they usually look for people who need it most. We hardly seemed on the urgent list, but through some miracle the kids got in and now both are attending the same hoikuen.
Preparing for hoikuen is quite a task. Every hoikuen is slightly different in their rules but generally, here are some of the things needed:
For the 3-4 year olds you need: a futon cover and a winter and summer duvet cover (these you are expected to make, but you can buy it from the school for around 1000 yen), a specific style of sun hat to which you attach an elastic strap, room shoes called uwabaki (shoes you wear inside since of course you don’t wear outside shoes indoors), a padded protective head guard (called bosaizukin) and sweat suit labeled with the child’s name to be worn in case of emergencies, a backpack, and during summer: swimming pants (a specific navy blue swim pants worn by both the boys and girls, also labeled) and a sports towel (those long skinny towels which is a common size in Japan, but not really in the US). Every hoikuen has a cute little swimming pool for the kids.
Everyday they must have these: 3 pairs of pants, 3 t-shirts , 3 undershirts in cool weather days, 2 underpants, 1 set pajamas (they change for nap time), 2 hand towels with a little loop to hang it (one for the classroom and one for the bathroom), 2 plastic bags (to keep the dirty clothes in). Everything must be labeled with the child’s name.
For the 1 – 2 year olds similar things are needed but slightly more: a futon cover and a winter and summer duvet cover (these you can make or buy from the school), a specific style of sun hat to which you attach an elastic strap, a padded protective head guard (bosaizukin) and sweat suit labeled with the child’s name to be worn in case of emergencies, and for the summer: swimming pants (the same specific navy blue swim pants worn by both the boys and girls, labeled) and a sports towel. You also need to make a fabric book cover for a diary that accounts your child’s daily activities (both you and the hoikuen teachers write each day). Everyday you have to write down what your child did from the time you left the hoikuen to the next morning before dropping them off. Specifically: what your child ate for dinner and the time, any snacks they ate between meals, whether they took a bath (or only a shower) or not, if they pooped and the condition of the poo (if it was normal, hard, soft, or watery), what time the slept at night and woke up the next morning, what they ate for breakfast and the time they ate, and then a short description of the child’s activities and any information you want to provide.
Everyday you need to bring: 6-8 diapers (each one must have your child’s name on it) and a plastic bag to keep the soiled ones (you have to bring home all the used diapers and dispose of them there), 3 bibs (which must be a certain apron kind) and a plastic bag for them, 4 pairs of pants, 4 t-shirts , 4 undershirts in cool weather days, 1 set pajamas, 1 plastic bags (to keep the dirty clothes in), the diary. Of course, everything must be labeled with the child’s name.
Other little rules: Girls are not allowed to wear dresses or skirts. The only kinds of pants allowed are the elastic-waist pull-up kind (no pants with buttons or zippers). No button down shirts (but polo-type are ok). No hair accessories with little beads or trinkets on them and no clips. Earrings are not allowed, even tiny little studs. Futons are placed out to hang on sunny days – each class has a specific day of the week to hang them. Every end of the week you must take home the futon and duvet covers and wash it, then bring it back the following week and put it back on.
So there you go – the things to be ready for if you plan to have your kids attend hoikuen. And of course, all this is in Japanese language! Probably not a problem for most moms living here, but it was (and still is) quite a learning experience for me. It sounds like a lot of work, but once you get into a rhythm, it can go quite smoothly.
Tokyo Summers
It feels like summer is practically over already. Although afternoons are still really humid, the evening breeze feels slightly cooler these days. I would have liked to take more trips to the beach but we only really have Sundays when we can all go, and not every Sunday was a good beach weather day. But the beaches close to Tokyo are notoriously crowded, so it’s not exactly a relaxing time. I still have a hard time tackling the crowds here even though I grew up in a pretty big city. The beach at Zushi was not terribly crowded for a summer weekend. There was a pretty mixed crowd of people – groups of teen-agers, families, foreigners, couples. Along the beach is a row of restaurants and bars that give the place a lively atmosphere, but not as rowdy as the beach at Enoshima.

There are lots of places to take the family during the summer, but I am learning to always expect a crowd. If you can disregard the crowds , the pools here are great. When people say the pool, I really think it is just one big swimming pool. It’s not – it’s a whole mini indoor water park with one large swimming pool, a ring-shaped pool with flowing water (where you can sit on a floaty tube and drift along as if you were on a river), a shallow wading pool for babies and toddlers with toys, and some even have a hot spring area with all sorts of baths with jacuzzi jets. They usually cost somewhere between 1200 – 2500 yen, depending on the area, but you could really spend the whole day there.
There are even free places to take the kids for water splashing fun. So many public parks all over Tokyo have elaborate water fountain areas specifically for kids to splash around in. I find there are a lot of these things in Tokyo that make it pretty cool for young kids to enjoy.






